If you have been watching mainstream movies for most of your life you might not even understand the term “funny plot”. In light of this let me explain what I mean.  A funny plot is where the story itself has hysterical twists and turns not just the dialog.  It is a great tool as it makes the whole movie more comical.

This idea was a great part of the move Hot Fuzz.  The very plot was hilarious.  For all who have seen Shaun of the Dead you know the type of humor as basically all of the actors from that movie have returned in this one.  Hot Fuzz is also has some of the more hilarious moments I have seen in a movie for a long while.  One such moment is where they completely fill up the evidence locker with a gun arsenal that a farmer finds including a deactive sea mine.  The culmination of the hilarity really comes in the form of a priest with hidden guns up his cloak.

Overall, if you even remotely liked Shaun of the Dead you should make it a point to see this one.

One of the great hot topics of the day is downloading music and movies. In case you are wondering yes I am speaking of the *whispers* illegal kind. Of course I am not going to reveal whether I do as the RIAA now has ninja lawyers who will swoop down and attack. They appear out of the night silently armed with subpoenas. There is no mercy and no way out. The problem and the topic of this article is that there is no common sense either. In fact the whole start of this represented a complete lack of common sense.

I know business and I can understand that the RIAA would worry about losing the stranglehold they have on the industry. I mean the thought that they might not get 6000% profit (10 cents to make + 10 cents in royalty - $15 for the retail) makes me weep *gag*. Admittedly, they probably don’t get that in pure profit but it doesn’t justify that the artist is getting next to nothing and the consumer is getting bent over paying for them. I mean come on that is like paying $4500 for a PS3 *winks*
Then there is the movie industry and the instigator of this article. If you watch any DVD’s now days you get the joy of watching the “Don’t steal movies” trailer. This forced advertising is really the flagship message on piracy. It is also a clear message in desperation extending an almost brainwashed view on this tricky subject. It is basically heavy metal music over sporadic MTV like scenes. Each one has a message superimposed. A couple of these messages include:

• You wouldn’t steal a purse
• You wouldn’t steal a car

Then it goes on then you shouldn’t download movies. Piracy is illegal!!!! My only comment is: Seriously? They are actually comparing downloading a movie off the internet to Grand Theft Auto. I get so shocked every time I see it. I am waiting for the phrases: You wouldn’t kill a puppy or You wouldn’t rape a goat. This link is one of the most absurd things I have heard and just wreaks of greed, self importance and heavy duty crack usage. I mean come on stealing a car is not the same as downloading music and cds. They are both illegal but so is a dog barking after dark in some cities.
Similar Relations to downloading movies = grand theft auto:

• Stepping on an ant = killing a puppie
• Throwing a rock = dropping an nuke
• Speeding = Vehicular man slaughter
• Swimming in a private pool = Drowning your brother

Just seems to me that industries that obviously live in the glass house of screwing consumers and artists alike shouldn’t be so obvious about throwing stones. It shows me personally that they are finally starting to realize that technology has leveled the playing field, at least in music. The RIAA is no longer needed and they know it so they will sue their way to profits. Artist now do not need to sell their soles to make 8 cents per cd. They can be free to play and express themselves without the noose of pop culture. Imagine a brave new world where the people are not forced to listen to Ashlyee Simpson or charged $15+ for a 10 cent piece of plastic. Where MTV played videos, Tom Cruise was never allowed near another camera and being a whore did not count as good publicity. *sighs imagining*

For both of you who read this blog, I have decided to expand into writing about music videos. Why you may ask. Well mainly because I don’t sleep and I see so many of the things I feel I have the right to critique. My completely informal and uninformed reviews will mainly cover the song, video and any other part of the video i might see at 5am before I am awake enough to even realize what I am seeing.

This morning’s unfortunate target is the Madonna Video: Hung Up. If you are older than a teenager, you will remember all of the fun stages of Madonna. From latin singer to her personal mission to alternately adopt and offend every major world religion. She has undeniably proven to the world accepting yourself and who you are is simply unneeded and pase. This self reinvention method has not only spread like wildfire but also given millions of parents all over the world a confidence boost in that they can now be assured there are parents out there who will most definitely screw up their children worse.

The song Hung Up, talks about how she is locked in the timeless struggle of being enthralled with a lover but tired of waiting by the phone for the call. Now with Madonna this “lover” is nebulous and could be man, woman or even some farmyard animals. When it comes to the phone, I can totally understand waiting by it for that all important phone call. Everybody remembers back when they were 12, with no car siting by the great telecommunication god hoping for a girl or boy to call them. What I don’t understand is why on earth Madonna, who travels with a group of servants the size of the New York Yankees, would not give such a person her cell number? Who “waits by the phone” now that the stupid things come with us everywhere we go.

The video for this song is of course all about her meeting this lover and waiting anxiously by the phone. As time goes on she flashes back to their meeting and subsequent dates while that phone sits dormant.

At least this is what the video would have been if it had ANYTHING to do with the song.

The actual video for this song merely uses the lyrics and melody for a sound track of a completely different short dance movie. In it Madonna dances in a ballet workout garb during which street dancers and urban tricking occurs. Interestingly enough, the sequences that her presence is not in are the best. The producers found some excellent dancers that can do flips off counters and such. Things that I hurt myself doing just siting on the couch thinking about. During this four minute interlude of irrelevance it becomes painfully apparent that Madonna is by far the least interesting person in it. You subconsciously begin to grasp for the non-Madonna clips the same way a drowning person grasps for air. The sharp contrast of actual dancers to her stiff and lackadaisical body convulsions make this video a non stop adventure in alternately being interested and disturbed.