For both of you who read this blog, I have decided to expand into writing about music videos. Why you may ask. Well mainly because I don’t sleep and I see so many of the things I feel I have the right to critique. My completely informal and uninformed reviews will mainly cover the song, video and any other part of the video i might see at 5am before I am awake enough to even realize what I am seeing.

This morning’s unfortunate target is the Madonna Video: Hung Up. If you are older than a teenager, you will remember all of the fun stages of Madonna. From latin singer to her personal mission to alternately adopt and offend every major world religion. She has undeniably proven to the world accepting yourself and who you are is simply unneeded and pase. This self reinvention method has not only spread like wildfire but also given millions of parents all over the world a confidence boost in that they can now be assured there are parents out there who will most definitely screw up their children worse.

The song Hung Up, talks about how she is locked in the timeless struggle of being enthralled with a lover but tired of waiting by the phone for the call. Now with Madonna this “lover” is nebulous and could be man, woman or even some farmyard animals. When it comes to the phone, I can totally understand waiting by it for that all important phone call. Everybody remembers back when they were 12, with no car siting by the great telecommunication god hoping for a girl or boy to call them. What I don’t understand is why on earth Madonna, who travels with a group of servants the size of the New York Yankees, would not give such a person her cell number? Who “waits by the phone” now that the stupid things come with us everywhere we go.

The video for this song is of course all about her meeting this lover and waiting anxiously by the phone. As time goes on she flashes back to their meeting and subsequent dates while that phone sits dormant.

At least this is what the video would have been if it had ANYTHING to do with the song.

The actual video for this song merely uses the lyrics and melody for a sound track of a completely different short dance movie. In it Madonna dances in a ballet workout garb during which street dancers and urban tricking occurs. Interestingly enough, the sequences that her presence is not in are the best. The producers found some excellent dancers that can do flips off counters and such. Things that I hurt myself doing just siting on the couch thinking about. During this four minute interlude of irrelevance it becomes painfully apparent that Madonna is by far the least interesting person in it. You subconsciously begin to grasp for the non-Madonna clips the same way a drowning person grasps for air. The sharp contrast of actual dancers to her stiff and lackadaisical body convulsions make this video a non stop adventure in alternately being interested and disturbed.

Almost everybody in cyberspace as well as outside of it knows of Dungeons & Dragons. This game completely revolutionized the way geeks spend their time. So much so in fact that it became synonymous with geekdom. Many people expect that the nerd or geek spends many Friday and Saturday nights in the dark basement fighting warlocks and goblins. Later these geeks were given the sophistication of computer games which rolled to 2000 sided die for them. My point is not to talk about this virginal ritual of the pasty faces geek kids but to speak on its correlation to real life.

The initial thing all people who play the game must do is decide what kind of character they want. First they pick the race (ie human, elf, dwarf). The second step, and the focus of this mindless turkey induced rambling, is the profession. Most iterations of this game have at least a dozen professions that a player can choose.

With careful examination (I thought of this in about 5 minutes) one can see the parallels with high school. I do warn that I am not a jock and never have been so please understand if you are one then I only despise you in principle not in practice.

Jocks=Tank Classes(i.e. Paladin, Warrior)
These classes focus on physical prowess. They have a much easier time to start with because their strength makes it easy to overcome barriers early on. In real life they are good looking and circumvent the potential assault by being able to defend themselves. If they are good enough they do not even need to read to graduate. However, this beauty fades and they are left with strength in a business world valuing smarts. Without the powerful spells of business they continue to be used as tanks.
Geeks=Arcane classes (i.e. Wizard, Sorcerer)
D&D magic classes are some of the most difficult to play. This is due to the long hours of studying and physical weakness. Initially, in the games being a wizard requires help and lots of running away from battles or alternately getting beaten severely during them. Like in real life geeks usually have a hard starting game in jr high. They sometimes manage to find other geeks to fight through high school with. The payoff to being a geek is that they have a very strong end game. By adulthood they are powerful in their jobs and make a great deal of money with little physical labor.

I know many will be offended by this but it doesn’t change the parallel. In general if the person decides to take the hard route of being a geek then they will have an easier time in adult life. If you want an example: Bill Gate is worth more than most of the NBA put together.

As most people are aware, the PS3 gaming console has arrived. It is much anticipated, coveted, and yes even worshiped as a representation of God. Golden Calf? Maybe, but it is very impressive with its blueray DVD reader, its Bluetooth networking and you can buy it in blue i think. I for one love video games and have loved them for many years. I had the original nintendo and played Super Mario Brothers all night long. After a while I could even beat it, albeit that was because I figured out that if you jumped on some poor unsuspecting turtle a hundred times you got 99 lives. Nonetheless, with this brave turtle’s sacrifice I was hooked on video games.

The PS3 represents a rebirth and exposure of many of the things that make us as human beings the scariest creatures on the face of the earth. The only exception would be cockroaches *shudders*. Those things are just…yuck. Specifically, what I speak of is where people will lose all of the higher functions it took millions of years to acquire. This can be seen in the news with muggings and shooting simply to get this $600 piece of video game ass.

My deepest quandary comes in the form of ebay, the worlds largest garage sale. The luxury version of the PS3 retails at around $600 but initially is difficult to get. So dedicated gaming capitalists spent days camping out in 4 star gutters outside of such stores as Best Buy, Target, and Wal-Mart in hopes to get one of these devices. They then planned to sell them on ebay for rates that even convention center consession stands are morally offended by. The highest rate that I saw was $4500 for the PS3. For those who are more of english/literature people this represents a 750% increase in price.

While I think many of you see this as a bump, I would like to put a few more common things into the same light:

• Item:PS3 Price (Original Price)
• Milk: $20.63 ($2.75)
• Starbucks Venti Latte: $24 ($3.20)
• Gas: $18.75/gallon ($2.50)
• Video game: $350 ($50)
• Saturn Ion: $135,000 ($18,000)
• Basic House: $1,095,000 ($146,000)

I am all for gaming but I like my car and my kidneys. This is the sophistication of macroeconomics taken to a bizar extreme. I guess however it is no different than a baseball card, basically a piece of cardboard with a picture of a guy in tight pants holding an aluminum bludgeoning device, being sold for millions of dollars.

Now the blogging has been around for a long time I thought I would jump on the bandwagon. Generally, I am not an interesting person but hey who doesn’t dream of greatness. To get featured on slashdot would a be a great goal of this blog but given how many are out there I am aiming more for the “get someone to read it” level.

Who am I is as important as those who wish to learn about me.  Overall, this like so much of the internet is simply a way to express the inner workings of a person.  In a world of uncertainty, the internet allows for a mask of safety.  Tucked away in costume of electrons and ideas where a person can remake themselves.  Simply put this is where true character can be revealed without the normal stoning that comes from alternative ideas.